With the school year on the horizon, I sat in my office working on my latest article. Ellie sat across from me, looking over the paperwork from her teacher. Flipping through, she said, “Daddy, did you ever have a crush when you were in school?”
“Yes,” I replied.
She was surprised. “Really? What was her name?”
“Camile.”
“Oh my gosh, Dad, does mom know? How old were you?”
Laughing, I said, “Yes, your mom knows.”
She tartly replied, “Sure, Dad.”
I continued, “I was seven or eight, I can’t remember. It was 2nd or 3rd grade.”
“What did you do?”
“Do? We did nothing. We were kids.”
“You didn’t go on a date?”
“Well, she did ask me to go see The Lion King with her, but I didn’t want to see that movie, so I said no.”
“Oh My Gosh, Dad, why didn’t you go? Didn’t you like her?”
“I mean, I liked her fine. I just wasn’t thinking when she called. I thought my friends might make fun of me if I saw that movie. Boys are stupid sometimes.”
She sat there contemplating what I told her. “Do you wish you had gone?"
“I mean, I don’t regret not going. I wish I had thought about it more before answering so quickly. I kinda just said, that’s a stupid movie and hung up. That wasn’t very nice.”
“Dad, I just realized you were a mean boy.”
“Well, I didn't mean to be. Do you think I am a mean boy now?”
“No, you’re the best daddy ever!”
“Well, let that be a lesson for you. Sometimes, boys aren’t mean; sometimes, they just don’t think. Boys can be stupid sometimes.”
“Does mom know you were a stupid boy?”
“Well, your mom knows better than most how stupid I can be.”
Before I finished the sentence, Ellie walked out of my office yelling, “Daddy had a crush!”
She entered the kitchen, where Vanessa was preparing dinner. I could hear them talking.
“Mom, did you know that Daddy had a crush in school? Her name was Camile. She asked him to see a movie. But daddy was a mean boy and said no.”
“Yes, honey, I know. The movie was The Lion King.”
“Wait! You knew? You knew he was a mean boy?”
“Honey, he wasn’t mean; your father is just stupid sometimes.”
“Wow! That’s the same thing he said.”
Ellie walked back into my office.
“You're off the hook. Mom said the same thing.” Then she turned around and walked upstairs to tell her sister.
I yelled up, “I told you I told her.”
She paused on the steps, looking back, her brow furrowed. She said, “I didn’t believe you could be a stupid boy.” And walked away.
I hope you enjoyed this little Sunday afternoon conversation between Ellie and me. The lesson here is that not everything we think is mean is really mean. Most of the time, it’s people not thinking things through. Share your past with your kids and tell them you aren’t perfect; we all make mistakes. Help them learn from them before they make the same ones.
That was awesome. You must have been advanced. My first crush was in 8th grade and I thought my feelings were recipricated. I went away for vacation for two weeks and upon return found out the object of my affections had found another boy. 99% of me laughs about it now but I am not so aged as to forget that 1% still remembers a nasty sting.