Father figures
I was awake before the sun rose at 4 am sitting in the scorching heat with my head leaning against the cool window of my dad’s 88’ blue and white chevy pickup. I can still hear the scrape of the plow against the asphalt where we had been plowing all night, finally ending up in a residential neighborhood with a shadow flagging us down. The shadow of a man asked my dad to make sure the snow did not pile in front of his driveway. All I could think is, no one else gets that, why are you special? But the man was older and there we were making a unique exemption for him and taking extra time to clear his driveway. I wanted to go home as it had been a long night, but I was thankful to have slept most of it. I cannot imagine what my dad was feeling, but that’s the type of person he is; always willing to help someone who asked.
My father is a great man, but he is not perfect, and I believe no one is. He showed me how to be a good man even though we didn’t talk much, we never had much in common. For example, he liked cars and I liked sports and no matter our differences I always respected him. All my life I wanted to be like my dad, but not my dad. Friends and family were always telling me what a great guy he was, and I wanted badly to be that man. While he did not spend money often or talk much, he always found a way to spoil my mom, making sure I knew why he was doing it. He didn’t just tell me how to be a good citizen and a good husband he showed me. And showed me how to see the good in others, which would become an important aspect of my existence.
Life can be long with many difficulties, and it is impossible for a father to be everything to a son, I believe all a father can do is be the best version of himself. Which is exactly what my dad is. Even with all the lessons, he taught me I always wanted more. I wanted him to be a baseball coach, business coach, and confidant, but those are not areas of comfort for him. It is difficult for one man to fulfill all the roles I wanted in life. Because he taught me to be good and seek good, I was always able to find father figures in areas of life that were not comfortable for him. When I was young, I had Bill who was my little league coach and taught me to umpire, drove me to games, and let me be his assistant when I was only twelve. After high school, I started a business where I met Mark and John from the Piedmont Club I worked while trying to become an entrepreneur. In the present-day when I ran for congress, I had John I met at Park Valley Church who guided me along the way. Each one of these men functioned as a father figure to me in an area of life I needed, and my dad made it possible for me to find the right ones.
My dad spent a great deal of time with me as a kid, he took me to work, had me help with projects around the house, and taught me to repair my dirt bike. But it was not the attention I wanted and resented him for it, and I did not understand back then, but now I do. It wasn’t his job to be the dad society said he had to be, it was his job to be the dad he was meant to be, and it was my job to follow. As a father myself now, I think it’s important not to bow to what society says we must be. We don’t have to give our kids a tablet at the dinner table to keep them quiet. We do not have to upgrade to the latest phone or buy the coolest shoes. We do have to teach our boys to be good men who love their mothers, sisters, and future wives.
The world is a substantial complex place and to make our boys well-rounded adults we need help. Teaching and guiding our boys to find other good father figures benefits the child and the parent. I look at my boys and wonder what they will do if I was not here. I cannot teach them everything, so I try to do the same as my dad. I try to lead by example, show them what I know, and how they can find the answers to the things I don’t. I try to teach them to be good and to seek good. I try to teach them to be men.