Those who know me best know that I talk about being comfortable a lot. During the summer I wear my traditional flannel and people are always amazed. Last summer I went door-knocking in the 97-degree heat for Youngkin, and everyone asked: “Aren’t you uncomfortable?” At first, I was. But after I got used to it, it didn’t really bother me. I had grown up hating the heat, I used to tell people “If it’s cold I can add layers but when it’s hot I can only take so many off”, so this was a herculean task for me. I wore a tee-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops most days. I liked being comfortable and I didn’t like heat.
I grew up in a rural part of Virginia outside of DC, although it’s not very rural anymore. Our primary heat source was our wood stove. As soon as the temperature dropped below 50 degrees, my dad would start the woodstove. Our small living room would feel like a furnace. When it was cold outside, he would burn the fire so hot that I would be wearing tee shirts and shorts. The rest of our house wouldn’t be as hot because he wouldn’t run the heat. He would remind us of running heating units is expensive and wood comes from our backyard and is plentiful. The living room, in front of the TV, is where I spent most of my time, so I would dress for that environment. When I would leave that environment to another part of the house, I would be cold but since I wasn’t going to spend much time there, I didn’t bother to put on warmer clothes, and over time, I got used to the cold. I ended up wearing tee shirts, shorts, and flip-flops all year long.
My environment had shaped me, so I figured I could shape myself in the other direction.
My grandfather was a big inspiration in my life, and I probably spent more time with my grandfather than most kids because my parents lived in the same neighborhood as him. During the summer I would stop by daily, so my grandfather decided to start teaching me history. Once he sewed yellow stripes into his jeans so he could look like a Union soldier, and he wore them casually. At first, I was embarrassed but now I get it, he wanted to share our past with others. In 2017 he passed, and thanks to my father, two wonderful aunts, and my brother, my family sub-dived his land and I was blessed with the opportunity to build my wife and I’s dream home. In February 2020, my family and I moved in. That’s when I put the flannel on. And I haven’t taken it off since.

I started wearing it for practical reasons. I picked up carpentry as a hobby to help decorate our new home the way my wife envisioned. My grandfather, a carpenter too, taught me wearing long sleeves is a good idea when working with wood and power tools. The first summer days working in the garage were rough. I would take it off frequently and go inside for an AC break. But little by little I got used to it. I was shaping myself in a different direction.
My Grandfather had taught me how to get through uncomfortable environments. It’s simple, find a small piece of comfort in the uncomfortable environment. When I first started speaking in public, I wore sunglasses on stage. I was performing poetry at the time, so it wasn’t crazy. The glasses weren’t working alone so then I started to bring a chair on stage. That’s when the balance of what was and what wasn’t comfortable started to equal out and I was able to shape myself a little more.
Shaping oneself is an important part of adulthood. As a child one is shaped by their parents as they control the environment. Or so you think. Once the child becomes an adult, they realize the environment is not as controllable as one would think. Heat is a need and my father made sure I got enough of it to survive, and I adapted to my environment because that’s what species are supposed to do. As Darwin says “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, not the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” Human beings have survived and reached new heights because we are a resilient species. Human beings are adaptable. Human beings are also unique because they control their environment. Some may call it free will.
Having money or power in society makes it easier to control one’s environment, but it is not the defining factor in who does and doesn’t have free will. Free will is achieved with the truth. Truth in one’s actions and truth in society. For example, my wife and children’s reflections of me helped me discover how I came to be. Seeing the truth about myself allowed me to exercise my free will. As Socrates says, “know thyself” But my free will only extends to my individual. I can control my reality but not others, because I can only truly know myself.
Knowing thyself can be achievable in two spheres. The small sphere of family and friends and the larger sphere of our species. It’s important a certain number of humans take the time to find themselves in the larger sphere. They are the ones who control our reality. They control our truth.
We are in a transition period in our history, much like a child moving from adolescence into adulthood. It’s time to reflect on ourselves and our environment and find the truth. Do we really hate the heat or were we shaped that way? To determine our truth, we need to understand where our society’s truth is held and who is shaping us.
Truth is held in nature, what is determined for us by our creator, and truth is held in nurture, how we shape ourselves to be. Much like a parent shapes a child so too does government, media, and corporations shape our society. Truth is held in power. They are the ones who control our truth and our society’s free will. Right now, they are at war with truth. The political left, media and entertainment are fighting the truth of gender. The truth is: man needs woman to make child and without child our species ceases to exist. When I was 10 no one would think to question if there were more than two genders. When Darwin was alive, no one questioned whether there were more than two genders. When Socrates was alive, no one questioned whether there are more than two genders. What is the purpose of gender? What does it mean for our survival? What is the purpose of man? Man meets woman and makes son and man becomes father. Father’s responsibility is to shape his son to be man. What is the purpose of woman? Woman meets man and has daughter, and woman becomes mother. If society becomes more, they/them and less he and she then our species, over time, will struggle to survive.
At the end of the night, my wife and I typically fall asleep to some 90s sitcom in the background. Recently, we have been watching Frasier on Hulu. We are a blue-collar family, so we don’t pay the premium to watch without commercials. Each night there is an ad that runs about a child who is supported by their parents to transition. Life is confusing and sexuality is even more confusing because of how our species has evolved. But we should remember and respect our nature. It is man’s responsibility to shape son to be man and woman’s responsibility to shape daughter to be woman. Should we allow children to shape their own reality? Should we allow them to change their nature? And should we be selling it to other children? Influencing their reality? And if we do allow ads to shape others’ ideas about gender, about truth, shouldn’t we allow ads to share a different truth? The truth about our nature. I am not trying to limit ones free will by telling people they can’t be themselves; I’m challenging them to get “know thyself” and know thy nature before shaping our society. When I was young, I wore tee shirts shorts and flip flops, I watched TV and drank whiskey, because that’s who I was shaped to be by my environment. After getting to “know thyself” I shaped my environment to be a man who wears flannel and jeans, reads books, and drinks coffee. What happens if that child grows ups and discovers that they were shaped by an enabling society of ones wants and desires to transition? Will they be able to shape themselves back?
Ever have one of those moments with your kids where they are misbehaving, and you know a tantrum is on the way? I know I have. For our children, it’s easy to see because we know them best. We watch them constantly. Human beings are habitual creatures and children even more so. They like to be comfortable. So, if they have a long day and miss their nap, we know a tantrum is on the way. These moments are tough to deal with in public, but it’s important we make sure our children know that tantrums are not ok when we are uncomfortable. Even if it’s for something they need. Because if they learn a tantrum is acceptable for a need, then they may try to use the same tool of tantrums to get a want. Some parents try to schedule their days around nap time, and I have at times too, but for the most part, I tend to force my kids to adapt to my schedule. It’s good practice for life. Few people get catered to in life and those who do, tend to behave worse.
Back to our two forms of truth. Nature, is chosen for us like gender, and nurture, is chosen by us like political leaders. The political right (and left but I will leave that for another day) is at war with the truth of power. Power is used to hold our society together and govern. It is a force that can be controlled and gifted. In our society, we gift power to others through elections. When leaders choose to use the power gifted to them by the voters to bend the mechanisms of power and keep it to themselves, that is a subversion of the truth. Determining nurtures truth can be more difficult and complicated than determining natures truth. The best way to see the truth in nurture is to pay attention to the behavior of those involved. If the person in power is constantly escaping accountability for their actions and throwing tantrums, it gives us a place to look for the truth. Humans are habitual and behavior tends to repeat itself. If a man tells you that he hires the best people over and over but then when he fires them tells you they were nothing without him, ask yourself what the truth is. If a grown man throws tantrums on Twitter and in press conferences to get what he wants and leads others to violence in defense of his lies, to protect his power, ask yourself is he the man we should follow? As Lord Acton said, "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Behavior like history repeats itself in the search for control.

How are our political leaders, media, entertainment, and corporations shaping truth? They are consistent, little by little shaping our world with lies, misdirection, and half-truths. They point the finger instead of reflecting on their own behavior. It is not the lies that are the most dangerous part, it is the consistency and veracity with which they tell them. Much like me and my flannel, they know people are adaptable. Those who should know better are using their power to shape our environment and if we are not careful, if we do not take the time to understand what is going on, to get to know ourselves, our nature, and our government, then we risk being shaped and controlled. Ask yourself do you know what the truth is? Or have you been shaped to see a different reality?