Do you sometimes struggle to pray? I know I do. It's not like I don't talk to God. I talk to him all the time. I pray alone, but when it comes to praying in a group, I always seem to struggle.
I get nervous, so many thoughts start racing through my mind, and I just can't get them out. Sometimes, I feel paralyzed, which is strange because I kind of talk for a living. I talk on Podcasts, and I get up on stage and read poetry. I am pretty good at talking in front of a group, but praying is different.
It's a level of vulnerability that can be difficult. Praying with others is something that I've been trying to focus on in my faith recently, and it's been tough.
Saturday, Vanessa threw me a 40th birthday party with some friends. She outdid herself as usual. The theme was vintage 1985. She got pictures of me as a kid imprinted on cups, and she handmade little party bags for all the guests. Inside was candy, Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape, and Kodak Cameras.
We all took pictures the old-fashioned way, and we're going to have the film developed later. We had to explain to our kids why they couldn’t see the picture immediately. It was great to see some of the most important people in my life. It was a really special night.
I wanted to use that opportunity to pray with them. So much is going on in each of our lives. I thought we should take a moment and talk to God together.
So I did what I do whenever I plan to speak. I thought about it. I thought about praying in front of everybody all day long. I must have said the prayer in my head a thousand times. I made a list of all the people I wanted to pray for, and why I was praying for them. And I made a list of why I was grateful for all the great things that God has done for me and my family.
And I've got to say, it was probably my most successful prayer. I still stumbled. I still felt paralyzed at times. And I still didn't get everything off the list. But from the way I looked at it, it was a win. Because I know that I'll get better, and that just means I'll build a stronger relationship with God.
I thought, Why not share this story? I'm sure others out there might be struggling with the same thing. And I don't know why we sometimes fail to see the obvious in front of us. I know I did. How did I not come up with it earlier? Just write it down, Jeff. It's weird because, you know, but you don’t know.
I had to think about it a different way. When I talk with God, I am just talking. Never really caring which words I say or how many I say. But when I am speaking in front of others, I want to say it in a way that is digestible so it can be heard by all of us.
If you're struggling to pray and often find yourself talking to God, but also wanting to talk to Him with your friends and family, don't be afraid to plan. Don't be afraid to prepare. Think about it. What do you want to say? How do you want to say it? Make a list. Carry it around with you. When you hear about things you want to pray about, write them down. And then when it comes time to pray, they'll already be organized in your head. You won’t have to think about it.
Sometimes I think we forget how much power we have, because we just kind of expect things to be a certain way. But the way is God. And no matter how many times we learn that, we seem to forget and have to learn it again.
Peace & Love,
Jeff Mayhugh
One of my favorites you've written brother. Love you man! Oh, and Happy birthday. (Again) 😅