Vacation, Hope, Dolphins, and Family
Vacation, Hope, Dolphins, and Family
"Repose is not the destiny of man”
Vacations are a source of joy for most people but not me. It’s hard for me to sit still. The driving, the packing, the sand, the whole thing just makes me uncomfortable, and I am a man who likes to be comfortable. Nevertheless, I do understand that I am the odd man out and this year my wife got me to agree to one. We traveled with aunts and uncles, mom’s and dads and kids to Clearwater Florida. In total there were 8 adults, 8 young adults (12-20) and 3 kids (5 & 6) in one beach house. There wasn’t much that was comfortable for me other than being with my family.
On the drive down we decided to stay in Richmond Hill outside of Savanah. Eight hours in a car with twin five-year old’s is enough. After we check into the hotel we drove into Savanah for dinner. The restaurant we wanted to try was on a two hour wait for a party of our size. It’s hard to walk into a restaurant as a family of seven. We ended up going to Paula Deans restaurant— I love southern food. The food was good. But… the family style service made it overpriced. For $26.99 per person, they let you order 2 entrees, 4 sides and an individual dessert. The entrees and sides are unlimited but no boxing food to go. The twins only cost $4.99 each but the rest of us, including two 12-year old’s paid full price. I opted for a third entrée which drove the price up to $28.99 each. This was a mistake on my part, but I was trying to satisfy a lot of different opinions and it was our first night away, I didn’t want a fight. Plus, I know Mama (my wife) likes good food and it had been a long time since we had a nice family meal out. The food was delicious, I particularly liked the collard greens, but the bill was north of $200… Plus we only ate about half of what they brought. The amount of wasted food the restaurant produces is ridiculous. We were sat near the kitchen, and I watched tray after tray of untouched food go into a large trash container. You would think with rising inflation and supply chain issues, restaurants would be more conscience with waste so they can help keep prices down for customers. I guess it’s easier to keep prices high and throw food away than to offer smaller portion sizes to lessen customer cost.
The next day before we hit the road again. We met up with my parents and had breakfast at a small diner, while everyone ate, I studied Madison’s Notes on the federal convention. I was starting to feel relaxed already, maybe I was wrong about vacation. The rest of the drive was unremarkable other than the incessant “are we there yet?” from the back seat. I did observe something about the billboards on 95 though. A lot of ads for sex toy stores, lawyers, and Jesus. Maybe if we had more of the one, we wouldn’t want or need so many of the other two. I don’t know that’s just one fathers opinion.
When I arrived in Florida, I had a plan. Read, write, and spend time with my family. The first few days I spent a lot of time reading— I read at the beach, the pool, and I did it while wearing my flannel. It protected my pale skin from the sun. Before the end of the week, I would finish 6 books which was a new personal best for me. I particularly enjoyed the Andrew Carnegie and Oliver Wendell Homes biographies. They were both highly intellectual, rational thinkers who aspired for a better understanding of the world they lived in. They also worked to shape that world. I relate a lot with their rational thought but differ on some of their positions. I think it’s because family wasn’t there focus and therefore, they have a very different perspective than me on the purpose of life. My favorite spot and time to read was in the early morning heat, out on the front patio alone with my noise cancelling air pods, and a cup of coffee. That was relaxing. Maybe I was wrong about vacation.
Julia (my oldest daughter 12) is like me, she loves to read, has pale skin that burns easy and isn’t a fan of the water or sand. She spent a lot of time in her room trying to watch the movie Titanic for the first time. It’s a two plus hour movie so she couldn’t finish it in one sitting. We ended up watching the last 40 minutes together late at night. We were at the moment Rose wakes as the rescue boat arrives—she attempts to wake Jack, but he’s frozen to death. She repeatedly says his name and I made a snarky comment about how it was obvious, and she should move on to yelling for help. Julia says “Daddy! She’s hoping! She’s hoping daddy.” Her eyes were welled up and I could tell she was fight back tears. My heart sank. Julia is incredibly empathetic like her father but unlike me she doesn’t express it often. The moment brought me to tears. I was both proud and sad. It made me sad to stomp on her hope, but proud that she was able to stand up and not let me. The older we get the more cynical we become. I am particularly aware of this as I am trying to start a movement of leaders who lead by hope and not fear, and I get just as sad when my hope is stomped on.
Wednesday night my wife and I got the young adults together and played my family’s favorite game Marbles and Jokers. It’s a strategy game that’s kind of like an adult version of sorry. We played with eight players, two teams of four. The object of the game is to move your marbles from home around the board to the base. To move you draw a card and each card represents a certain number of spaces and direction, for example 7’s can be split between two marbles but must move forward, 8’s can only move backwards and 9’s can also be split but one marble must go forward and one backwards. Another rule is there is no table talk. You have to anticipate what your teammate will do rather than them telling you. I love this game because it operates like our republic. Each player is sovereign and represents their marbles first while simultaneously representing the larger team. Like how our states each represent themselves while simultaneously representing the Union. There are many different strategies I take when playing and it depends on the cards, but the one constant is making sure I pay attention and respect the other marbles on the board. Most times acting in oneself interest is what helps the team most, but sometimes I’ll sacrifice a marble so my teammate can get home. I had a blast explaining government to a group of young adults and playing my favorite game. I am not sure how they felt about it, but they did enjoy the game. My team ended up losing to Mama and Julia’s team. I hate losing but I love when my wife and daughter enjoy doing the same thing, so it balances out.
By Thursday I had read four books including two large biographies, it was time to put the books down for bit. Much to my dismay, my wife signed us up for a dolphin excursion. It’s not that I have anything against dolphins, it’s just I don’t like having chunks of my day pre-planned while on vacation. I like my freedom. The excursion started out rough because when we showed up to the marina, we struggled to find a parking spot and were running out of time before the boat left. Luckily, we made it just in the nick of time. We left the harbor and after about 30 minutes we still hadn’t seen any dolphins… the girls were getting a little restless. “Where are the dolphins?” they said. I started reading because I don’t like idle time. Then the boat sped up and the captain came over the speaker and announced the dolphins had arrived and directed every to look to the back of the boat. They started jumping. And boy did they jump! There must have been 6-10 following the boat jumping and playing. I must admit, it was pretty cool. The look of joy on the twin’s face made my idle time worth it. After about an hour and half we were back at the Marina and while we were exiting the boat, I told my wife “That was awesome, thanks for making me do it.” And I thought to myself, maybe vacation isn’t so bad.
Thursday night was family night. I prepared shredded chicken and pork tacos with homemade salsa for dinner and then we went to the beach for family photos as the sunset. After the beach we went back to the house for the official start of Family night. Family night consists of two segments: sharing and playing. The sharing segment is designed for us to understand and communicate with each other better, which makes the playing aspect more fun and less fighting. We gathered around the pool and started to share. On this night I invited an open share, people could share a song, poem, or story. Gabe played a Jeff Magnum song, and I performed a poem, but my favorite part was hearing all the stories about family reunions and events from the past from my mom and uncles. Some of my uncles’ favorite memories were also some of mine but he shared them from a different perspective, and it was enlightening. I’m so happy my kids got to hear those stories about their great grandparents. After about an hour we transitioned to the playing segment. We played the “skit game.” This is a game I invented years ago when I started family night, we form teams and then each team prepares and preforms a skit to get the judges to laugh. We had three teams preform. The young adults took the lead and formed two teams and my wife, and I formed another. My mother, uncle, aunt and Julia were the judges. The team that won took a cheap comedic shortcut by pushing Oliver in the pool but I’m not bitter about the loss. Even with the loss I had a great time. I loved the enthusiasm and thought the kids put into the game; each team provided a hilarious skit. Family night is always my favorite, and it was great to extend that experience with a largeer portion of my family. Maybe vacation isn’t so bad
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The video is hard to see but Gabe sounds great!
Overall vacation was a huge success. I learned more about my family, and they learned more about me. It’s that understanding and time spent together that strengthens our bonds. Oliver Wendell Homes said “Repose is not the destiny of man” but maybe a little repose now and then can provide the balance we need.
A special thank you to my uncle for bringing us all together.
